#4: Where the Gospel Meets Abortion

#4: Where the Gospel Meets Abortion

Note: The Love Thy Neighborhood podcast is made for the ear, and not the eye. We would encourage you to listen to the audio for the full emotional emphasis of this episode. The following transcription may contain errors. Please refer to the audio before quoting any content from this episode. 

JESSE EUBANKS: There’s a building in downtown Louisville. It’s nothing much to look at, stone, concrete likely built in the late 60’s. But it sits at a busy intersection just one block from a professional sports complex where the Louisville Cardinals play and artists like Coldplay and Lady Gaga perform. And this building only hosts two businesses inside. Both of these businesses are driven by their personal ethics, both believe they are for women and both believe they are for the flourishing of society. And even though they are only separated by 8 inches of wood and drywall, they could not be farther apart. The reason is because one of these businesses is Kentucky’s only abortion clinic. And the other? Is a pro-life crisis pregnancy center. 

JESSE EUBANKS: You’re listening to the Love Thy Neighborhood podcast. I’m Jesse Eubanks.

RACHEL SZABO: And I’m Rachel Szabo. Every episode we hear stories of social justice and Christian community.

JESSE EUBANKS: Today’s episode – where the gospel meets abortion. I’m here with producer Rachel Szabo, and we report on a lot of different important issues. And most of these issues have dramatic impact on people’s quality of life – racism, sexism, community. But in today’s episode the stakes are much higher. With an abortion clinic and a pro-life center sharing the same building, every day on this block is about life itself. Welcome to our corner of the urban universe.

NEWS CLIPS:

WALTER KRONKITE: In a landmark ruling the Supreme Court today legalized abortions.

BARACK OBAMA: Women should be allowed to make their own decisions about their own health.

NEWS REPORTER: The clinic was in jeopardy of being shut down by the state on Monday.

NEWS REPORTER: The Supreme Court struck down abortion restrictions in Texas.

DONALD TRUMP: Because I am pro-life, and I will be appointing pro-life judges.

JESSE EUBANKS: Abortion. A word for most of us synonymous with politics and laws. And we think that is our duty on this issue. Vote for the right candidates who will make the right kinds of laws about abortion. But the thing about laws is they’re never quite enough. In the gospel of Luke chapter 10, a lawyer asks Jesus, what do I need to do to have eternal life? And Jesus basically responds by telling him, you know the law. What’s the law? And the law was love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself. 

RACHEL SZABO: But like any good lawyer, what this man really wanted to know from Jesus was what are the rules within this rule? 

JESSE EUBANKS: What is the scope of this law? 

RACHEL SZABO: What are the implications?

JESSE EUBANKS: Who qualifies? 

RACHEL SZABO: Who’s breaking the law? 

JESSE EUBANKS: What he wanted were details. And abortion gets dealt with in the same way. What are the rules within the rule? When is it ok and when is it not ok? Is it ever ok? And for us as Christians we believe the ethics on this are pretty clear. What we don’t believe is that the issue is simple. In fact, we believe simplistic responses are actually hurting the cause, which ultimately hurts unborn lives. So even though the ethics on this might be black and white, we need responses that are more nuanced and more thoughtful. And in today’s story, we’re not going to be talking about abortion in terms of laws and politics. And that’s because for most women who find themselves considering abortion, their main concern isn’t with the law.

MONICA HENDERSON: Yeah they’re not caught up in the political or constitutional argument. In our experience, they want to be unpregnant. 

JESSE EUBANKS: That’s Monica Henderson. Monica is the executive director at A Woman’s Choice. And we know it can be confusing but A Woman’s Choice is the name of the pro-life crisis pregnancy center.

RACHEL SZABO: And it can be confusing because the word “choice” is often associated with the pro-choice movement. People who are for women getting abortions.

JESSE EUBANKS: But before we hear about the women actually in crisis pregnancy and what they are concerned about, we’re first going to hear how in the world this pro-life center ended up next door to Kentucky’s only abortion clinic.

MONICA HENDERSON: Just the nature of abortion in Louisville, Kentucky and at that location, it’s one of the few abortion clinics, probably in the country, that has a public sidewalk entrance.

RACHEL SZABO: Ok, so most abortion clinics have a fenced-in parking lot. So if you’re a woman going to the abortion clinic, no one’s really going to bother you. But in Louisville the abortion clinic is downtown. So there’s no parking lot, no private entrance. I mean, you can literally walk past the building on your way to McDonald’s. And what that also means is anyone can walk up to a woman as she’s going into the abortion clinic.

MONICA HENDERSON: The founders wanted to be able to have one-on-one conversations and sit down with a woman and say, what’s going on in your life? What’s going on around you in life that’s pushing you towards abortion?

RACHEL SZABO: A Woman’s Choice is not a sidewalk ministry. However, they are able to use the sidewalk to help them engage abortion-minded women. And that was working pretty well for them actually. But then something happened. What happened was the office space next to the abortion clinic became available for rent. 

MONICA HENDERSON: One of our board members thought, if the abortion clinic gets that space then they will open up the parking lot.

RACHEL SZABO: The concern wasn’t so much with the office space. The concern was with the parking lot connected to that office space. If the abortion clinic were to take over the whole building and get the parking lot, then the ability for A Woman’s Choice to have those one-on-one conversations out on the sidewalk? It’s gone. 

MONICA HENDERSON: And so we asked the landlord, what’s the deal? And they were negotiating with a restaurant at the time, and they said, you’re next in line. If the restaurant negotiations fall through, we’ll let you know.

RACHEL SZABO: Those negotiations did fall through, and A Woman’s Choice was given the lease. 

JESSE EUBANKS: Okay, so that must have been a big win for them, right? Because they can still talk with women who are going into the abortion clinic.

RACHEL SZABO: It was a big win for them in the fact that the abortion clinic didn’t get a private parking lot. But it also put A Woman’s Choice right in the middle of something else that’s been happening on this sidewalk for decades.

SIDEWALK AUDIO: (group praying) Holy Mary, mother of God… (woman) Don’t go in there!

JESSE EUBANKS: Okay, so those people are praying outside the clinic, but wait, who’s that lady in the background?

SIDEWALK AUDIO: (woman) We wanna be here for you. We wanna let you know that there are great resources available.

RACHEL SZABO: That’s another pro-life activist. Because the abortion clinic still has a public sidewalk entrance, anybody can walk right up to the door.

SIDEWALK AUDIO: (woman) Right next door, A Woman’s Choice is a pregnancy resource center. That’s what they do. They help to provide resources.

RACHEL SZABO: And believe it or not, this is actually calm. It’s just people praying, speaking. But other times, in particular on Saturday mornings, this sidewalk can end up looking more like a sideshow.

BABY CRYING

JESSE EUBANKS: Wait, so they’re playing… That is not a real baby, they’re playing a recording of a crying baby…

RACHEL SZABO: You can hear it all down the block.

JESSE EUBANKS: Gosh, that is so unsettling…

SIDEWALK AUDIO: (man) Good morning!

JESSE EUBANKS: That man’s holding a banner that literally has a disembodied baby. Limbs and hands and heads. There’s dozens of people. And literally they’re all around the block.

SIDEWALK AUDIO: (man with loudspeaker) It’s unreasonable. Everything you stand for is nonsense.

RACHEL SZABO: A Woman’s Choice not only needed to find another way to have one-on-one conversations with women, they now also have to find a way to distinguish themselves from the sidewalk protestors. Honestly, A Woman’s Choice finds it so unhelpful that they’re reluctant to even go outside and engage in what’s happening out there. So what they did was they came up with a plan.

MONICA HENDERSON: They’ll pull into our parking lot and we’ve asked them to get a parking permit and that’s strategic.

RACHEL SZABO: A woman who has an appointment at the abortion clinic can park in A Woman’s Choice parking lot. All they ask her to do is come inside and get a parking permit.

MONICA HENDERSON: We will tell them we’re not the abortion clinic, but we ask them to come in and get a parking permit so we can have a five minute conversation with them at our front desk.

RACHEL SZABO: They’ll ask them things like have you seen your doctor yet? Have you had an ultrasound? Are you aware of all the options that are available to you?

MONICA HENDERSON: That same quiet conversation we would have tried to have on the sidewalk we try to have at our front desk away from all the screaming people.

SIDEWALK AUDIO: (man with loudspeaker) …And how wicked you really are! And how gravely you need the Lord Jesus Christ to heal you!

RACHEL SZABO: The pro-life people are not the only folks out on the sidewalk. The abortion clinic also has volunteers, and in fact some of these volunteers are willing to go to extreme measures to make sure a woman does not go inside A Woman’s Choice.

MONICA HENDERSON: We’ve heard for years, “They take your clothes and don’t let you leave.” Which of course is illegal. They believe that we lie to women, that we’re deceivers. The fact that we have “choice” in our name is something we get criticized for by pro-choice abortion activists.

RACHEL SZABO: Every day, A Woman’s Choice has to distinguish themselves from the sidewalk protestors that are pro-life and also from the abortion clinic volunteers that are pro-choice. And they have to do that while also having conversations with women and trying to help them through a crisis pregnancy. So the way A Woman’s Choice does that is they offer things like free counseling, ultrasounds, pregnancy tests, baby items like diapers and wipes, all kinds of resources in the hopes that a woman will see that choosing life is a good and viable option for them. 

MONICA HENDERSON: They don’t call it crisis pregnancy as a joke. It’s a crisis. 

RACHEL SZABO: Here’s the thing – when a woman walks into A Woman’s Choice and she’s pregnant, she’s in crisis. And that means she needs a response that’s going to help her in the crisis. 

MONICA HENDERSON: I’m underage, I’m unmarried, this baby is going to be biracial and my parents don’t like African Americans. It’s always a mix of different reasons. A lot comes down to you a belief that you can’t handle it financially. 

RACHEL SZABO: And this is exactly the situation that Kinshasta found herself in.

KINSHASTA: And I didn’t know what I wanted to do, y’know?  Five kids was like, what am I gonna do? Lord, what do you want me to do?

RACHEL SZABO: Kinshasta is a single mom raising five kids. She’s in and out of relationships a few times so several of her kids come from different fathers. And when Kinshasta’s youngest child is about two years old, Kinshasta finds herself pregnant again. 

KINSHASTA: I’m going to provide for my children whatever the situation, I’m going to try to provide.  I’ve always kept a job. Some points I’ve had one, two, three jobs at a time, but it was just like, am I able to do this?

JESSE EUBANKS: When my wife and I became pregnant, it was a time to celebrate, a time for baby showers. It was a time where we were economically stable enough that we were excited about what was going to happen. And so for us, being pregnant was a season that was wrapped up in excitement and anticipation.

RACHEL SZABO: Yeah, but if you’re a single mom, already holding down multiple jobs and taking care of multiple kids? 

KINSHASTA: It’s like an every day, constant battle. Because every day you wake up and you’re thinking, and all through the day you’re thinking, but at the same time you’re still having to take care of your family and do the thing and function.

RACHEL SZABO: While Kinshasta is trying to take care of her family, she’s wondering what she’s going to do when child number six arrives. In fact, one of the top five reasons women give for considering an abortion has to do with finances. And seventy-five percent of the women who get abortions are considered poor or low income.

JESSE EUBANKS: Okay, let me interject here for a second. So Kinshasta, she is a good mom, but she’s also a single mom, and I know we have listeners that are thinking, “Why does this woman keep on having kids? Like, why in the world does she not stop getting pregnant with people who are not her husband?” And that’s true. From a moral standpoint, there is some validity there. However, I also want you to think about it like this: If your child wants to go to college, what’s the typical thing that middle class folks do to afford college?

RACHEL SZABO: Take out student loans.

JESSE EUBANKS: Absolutely. They take out student loans. And anyone with any kind of debt will tell you, debt is bad. There are endless statistics that show how much student debt is crippling our economy. There are so many people who are in their twenties and thirties and forties and are just piled under debt. But we take it on. For what purpose? For the hope of having a better future. And in the same way, in relationships many of us we sleep with the person we’re with, we have sex with them for the purpose of making sure that we could potentially have a future together. And I think for a lot of people when it comes to the topic of getting pregnant when you’re not married, many of the exact same principles are applying as it relates to student loan debt.

RACHEL SZABO: Right, and we’re not trying to condone Kinshasta’s relational habits here. We’re just trying to see what is on the line for these women who are in a crisis pregnancy? What’s going on in their life that is making this pregnancy a crisis? 

JESSE EUBANKS: Because for most Christians, the decision seems so obvious. It’s a human life, and taking another human’s life is unimaginable. And to help us get a better picture of what life is like in crisis pregnancy we talked to this guy.

BRAD BROWN: ‘Cause if a poor person gets pregnant, they’re going to be obviously even more poor. And  there’s this way that they can get out. Yeah, it makes sense to give it to them if you’re not thinking about it in terms of human life.

JESSE EUBANKS: This is Brad Brown. And while he’s not an economist or an expert or anything like that, we wanted to talk to him about this issue for one specific reason.

BRAD BROWN: And y’know, looking at my life I have clearly benefited from getting one.

JESSE EUBANKS: Coming up next – the Christian who benefited from abortion. We’ll be right back…

COMMERCIAL

JESSE EUBANKS: Welcome back to the Love Thy Neighborhood podcast. I’m Jesse Eubanks. 

RACHEL SZABO: And I’m Rachel Szabo. Today’s story – where the Gospel meets abortion. 

JESSE EUBANKS: We’re about to hear from Brad Brown. So seventeen year old Brad was dating his first girlfriend. Brad is from rural appalachia. Teenage pregnancy is common. Higher education is not. And Brad was on course to escape this cycle. But then one day he gets a phone call and it’s his girlfriend on the other line. And she’s got some news for him… she’s pregnant. 

BRAD BROWN: Absolutely no joy or happiness or excitement about that whatsoever. It was immediately, “Oh, crap.” I might have even cried, I don’t remember. But I don’t think it was out of a sense of, “What have I done?” It was more of a, “Oh no, what does this mean for me?”

JESSE EUBANKS: What it meant was Brad might not be able to finish high school. And he definitely would not be going to college next year like he planned. 

BRAD BROWN: So I very quickly without a second thought, thought, “Alright, we need to figure out how to, y’know, not have this thing.” So pretty much immediately I was encouraging an abortion. 

RACHEL SZABO: So, according to the National Abortion Federation, if you get an abortion between six and ten weeks of your pregnancy the cost is $350. 

BRAD BROWN: I mean, that’s the easy option. The cheap option. Frankly the best option if you’re talking your own position, material wealth or social mobility.

JESSE EUBANKS: So from a monetary standpoint, of course Brad would insist on an abortion. And at first his girlfriend resisted. Hard. But then eventually, she called Brad on the phone again and said that she had done it. She had the abortion.

BRAD BROWN: Big sigh of relief. Thank goodness. I was very much relieved. It never crossed into the thought that this is a person. It was just more of a concept, more of a blob of tissue, I guess. There was no sense that it was a murder, per se.

JESSE EUBANKS: Which may be why he readily encouraged the same action when his girlfriend got pregnant a second time. It was an exact replay of the first – his girlfriend called, said she’s pregnant, Brad says abort it and eventually she does.

BRAD BROWN: Maybe this was, y’know where I developed my ability to numb out feeling. That’s one way of looking at it, y’know, I helped kill a couple people.

JESSE EUBANKS: So here’s what happened after that. Not becoming the dad of two kids, Brad goes off to college, and at college, he starts considering the weight of what he’d done.

BRAD BROWN: It’s a pretty visceral one. It’s a pretty public, pretty hot button thing to do. So naturally it made me question and go, “Oh gosh, if this Bible stuff is right, I am in trouble.” It really did prompt me to crack open the Bible of my own accord for the first time.

JESSE EUBANKS: And here’s the thing, Brad eventually became a follower of Jesus in college. His whole outlook in life began shifting. And part of that outlook involved Brad not seeing unborn life as a blob of tissue but seeing unborn life as a person.

BRAD BROWN: Being a Christian now I would say that currently it seems to me that unborn children do seem to be that. Children. So, humans.

JESSE EUBANKS: And while he doesn’t advocate for people getting abortions, because of his experience he does deeply sympathize with people like Kinshasta, who find themselves in crisis pregnancy and are struggling to make a good decision.

BRAD BROWN: There’s a lot going on in it, and it’s one that, y’know, you kind of have to approach with a lot of sensitivity, and you have to approach it with a wholistic approach. 

JESSE EUBANKS: It seems to me that inside all of us there’s a scale. And that scale is related to temptation. Every hard situation that we come into contact with in life, things like being a single parent or financial hardship or the fear of our children being taken away from us, those things are heavy. And they go on the scale, and the temptation grows for us to make the wrong decision. And while we in no way believe that having an abortion is a viable and good option, we believe that it’s wrong, the truth is that all of us struggle to do the right thing when that scale is tipped so far in one direction. And a lot of times we don’t want to talk about all of the details and circumstances that led a person to make that decision, even if it was the wrong one. And whether or not we could have done something to lighten the weight of the scale.

RACHEL SZABO: And so it’s these kinds of heavy things – being a single parent, having financial hardship – that are weighing on Kinshasta when she walked into A Woman’s Choice to speak with one of their counselors. 

KINSHASTA: So I sat down, filled out the paperwork, and I think I was still filling out paperwork when I got called back into one of the rooms. 

RACHEL SZABO: The counselor sits down with Kinshasta. They talk about what’s going on in her life, they give her different resources and options if she wants to choose life for her baby, and ways that they can help her through this crisis. But even after talking through all of that, the staff at A Woman’s Choice can’t make the decision. Ultimately, it’s Kinshasta’s choice.

KINSHASTA: I did look at everything. I still was getting counseling and doing the things, but it was just like I can’t… I don’t, I don’t know, I just couldn’t do this again. I made that decision to abort at that time.

JESSE EUBANKS: Wait, so she wants to abort the baby?

RACHEL SZABO: She’s decided that’s how she’s going to get out of the crisis. Physically, financially, emotionally. So the next time she comes downtown, she’s not going to be going to A Woman’s Choice. She’s going to be going next door to get an abortion. On the morning Kinshasta’s appointment, one of her friends drives her to the clinic. You have to bring somebody with you; you are not allowed to come in by yourself. When they get there, there’s protestors out on the sidewalk, but Kinshasta’s not paying attention to anything that’s happening on the sidewalk.

KINSHASTA: They were speaking, but at the same time I was praying.

RACHEL SZABO: So Kinshasta’s walking to the clinic, and she’s walking through this crowd of people that are protesting and yelling. And Kinshasta is actually just praying quietly to herself.

KINSHASTA: Y’know one of those hard conversations you just have, and you sit and you listen and you try to hear maybe something’ll go wrong or he’ll intervene or…

RACHEL SZABO: Kinshasta and her friend get to the door at the clinic. They walk inside and sign in. Her friend leaves and will be back to pick Kinshasta up. The clinic staff take Kinshasta back to what looks like a small waiting room.

KINSHASTA: You have other ladies in there with you, and you’re watching tv, looking at magazines just like you’re in a waiting room. Then they start calling individuals back.

RACHEL SZABO: The first thing they call Kinshasta back for is to speak with one of their counselors.

KINSHASTA: You talk about if this is what you wanna do, sign paperwork, what have you.

RACHEL SZABO: And in Kinshasta’s case, she still wanted to proceed with the abortion. So she signs the paperwork and returns to the waiting room. Then they call her back a second time.

KINSHASTA: Then you get called for ultrasound. You do your ultrasound.

RACHEL SZABO: After the ultrasound, Kinshasta is sent back again to the waiting room. There’s actually a lot of waiting that happens before the actual abortion procedure. And at any point, during the counseling or the ultrasound or just sitting and thinking in the waiting room, you are given the option to walk out if you change your mind. 

KINSHASTA: I think maybe two or three of the women got up and left. Then they start calling people to go to the surgery.

RACHEL SZABO: There are actually two general types of abortion. You can get a medical abortion or a surgical abortion. A Medical abortion is for patients who are in the early stages of their pregnancy. What happens is they’re given pills, and these pills will cause the death of the embryo, and once it is killed, it will be expelled from your body. A surgical abortion can vary in methods and procedures, but essentially what it does is it uses suction to remove the embryo or fetus from the uterus, along with the placenta and any remaining tissue connected to the fetus. Once Kinshasta has the surgery and she wakes up from the anesthesia, her friend has come back to the clinic and picks her up, and they go home.

KINSHASTA: Like, I wasn’t happy that I had it done. It was just like more or less the opposite, what have you done? Maybe a little bit of anger a little bit of guilt. Really? Why did you just, you could’ve done it, you could’ve done one more. But it’s after the fact.

JESSE EUBANKS: Wow. Just to hear all of that firsthand, that is really hard to hear. Half of me feels you can hear Kinshasta’s pain in her voice over the whole thing and the decision she made and the guilt she feels, and then this other part of her that feels like it relieved so much tension, and then another part of her that feels like she could have another child right now, and then another part, I mean there’s so many tension points and… Yeah, that is very hard.

RACHEL SZABO: Yeah, as Kinshasta was sharing this story with me, I was shocked. And it’s so easy for someone like myself who’s not in the situation to immediately respond with, “Why couldn’t she put the kid up for adoption?” Or, “This is why abortion needs to be outlawed.” 

JESSE EUBANKS: Yeah, laws matter. I believe that laws matter. Laws govern our country. They give us guidance as people. But so often we end up just focusing on the law, and we have a lack of concern for the actual people who are impacted by the law. We’re out of alignment.

RACHEL SZABO: Which makes me wonder, what does it look like to really, truly be pro-life?

JESSE EUBANKS: Well, I think the answer to really being pro-life, in many ways is found in adoption. I did some research, and there are three major themes that come out as it relates to minority communities or low-income communities and adoption. The first one is that for many low-income communities, adoption is associated with the foster care system. So while there are plenty of wonderful foster families out there, there are also plenty of horror stories of kids being shipped household to household and never having any sense of belonging. The second one pertains to the idea of race. So you have a woman who is minority giving birth to a child and then handing them over to a white family, there’s a lot of fear and concern in that. Will my child’s racial identity be accepted by you and by the culture at large? And the third issue is the issue of shame. When a woman is pregnant for nine and a half months, everyone can see. Then all of a sudden she comes home from the hospital and she doesn’t have her baby. There’s a fear that other people will see her and think, there’s that woman who gave up her baby. 

RACHEL SZABO: But even with all those different barriers, still choosing adoption, choosing life is a beautiful thing. 

JESSE EUBANKS: Yeah, in the end we would say it’s absolutely worth it. And to illustrate that, we wanted to hear from this woman.

ANNIE HYSONG: And as soon as I said it, I was like, oh no. I do not want this. No, no, no, no, basically is what was going through my mind. 

JESSE EUBANKS: A secret pregnancy, a panic attack and the beauty of choosing life. Stay with us.

COMMERCIAL

JESSE EUBANKS: Welcome back to the Love Thy Neighborhood podcast. I’m Jesse Eubanks.

RACHEL SZABO: And I’m Rachel Szabo. Today’s story: Where the gospel meets abortion.

JESSE EUBANKS: The stories we’re following today come from A Woman’s Choice, the pro-life center next to Kentucky’s only abortion clinic. And even when a woman chooses life for her baby, that’s not the end of the story. 

RACHEL SZABO: Next we’re going to hear from volunteer Annie Hysong. 

ANNIE HYSONG: Why am I bothered by this? I’m fine.

RACHEL SZABO: Annie is actually adopted. And while Annie told herself she was fine and was okay with this…

ANNIE HYSONG: This is a beautiful thing! And I’m not supposed to be hurt by this.

RACHEL SZABO: Annie felt this sense that something was wrong with her. 

ANNIE HYSONG: And deep, deep down I was like, no, I’m rejected. Like, I was abandoned.

RACHEL SZABO: And all those things came to the surface when  Annie came to serve at A Woman’s Choice through Love Thy Neighborhood. 

ANNIE HYSONG: I am going to work. I’m working at a crisis pregnancy center. I was walking in on a Friday and was like, I just don’t feel right. I feel so weird right now. My heart is racing. I can’t really hold my hands still.  I’m having a hard time breathing, and there’s, like, no reason. And the nurse comes in and says, “Have you ever had a panic attack? I think that’s what’s happening.”

RACHEL SZABO: So, the nurse sent her to one of the empty counseling rooms, and Annie just starts sobbing, lying on floor of this counseling room. All the women, all the staff at A Woman’s Choice come into the room. Eventually Annie calms down enough to tell them what had happened just a few days earlier over the Thanksgiving holiday. So Annie went to her aunt’s house for Thanksgiving, and her birth mom also came there. All growing up, Annie would see her birth mom regularly at family gatherings and get-togethers.

ANNIE HYSONG: So, we are all sitting on this bed.

RACHEL SZABO: It’s Annie, her aunt and her birth mom.

ANNIE HYSONG: And then I just hear come out of my mouth, “Tell me what happened.” 

RACHEL SZABO: Regarding her birth, because Annie didn’t know the details. She had been left in the dark. Nobody talked about it with her.

ANNIE HYSONG: And as soon as I said it I was like, oh no. I do not want this, nope, no, no, no, no.

RACHEL SZABO: And her birth mom goes, “Okay.” And so she tells her she was nineteen, a freshman in college.

ANNIE HYSONG: In her words, “I was the good girl and didn’t do anything that was not right.”

RACHEL SZABO: She had been dating this guy for three months, found out she was pregnant, didn’t tell anybody. Didn’t tell the birth dad, didn’t tell her parents, any family, friends.

ANNIE HYSONG: Part of me thinks that it was maybe because she just didn’t want to believe it was happening. 

RACHEL SZABO: She kept it a complete secret until she was almost full term. At this point, she was dating another guy, and they were in the car.

ANNIE HYSONG: A lady ran a red light and hit them, hit her side of the car. 

RACHEL SZABO: She was trapped in there. So when they got her out, the EMS guys were like:

ANNIE HYSONG: She’s clearly pregnant. We have to get her to the hospital right now.

RACHEL SZABO: We gotta get the baby out. So, they did a C-section.

ANNIE HYSONG: My lungs weren’t fully developed. I came out with this huge bruise on my head. Just very emergency C-section.

RACHEL SZABO: Her birth mom had already decided she was going to give Annie up for adoption. There was a couple in her extended family there at the hospital who said, “We want her. We want to take her.” And so, once Annie’s birth mom finishes telling her this story about Annie’s birth and adoption, Annie just starts feeling very upset.

ANNIE HYSONG: Like, why was I not good enough for you to, like, tell somebody about me? Why? And I just cried. I was like, “What is wrong with me?” Because my whole life I’ve been like, “I’m fine. This does not hurt me. I am not bothered by this.  I don’t know, I’m sorry, I do not want to cry.

RACHEL SZABO: Which brings us back to A Woman’s Choice, where Annie is in one of the empty counseling rooms, lying on the floor, having a panic attack. So, once she explains to the staff what she learned from her birth mom about her birth and her adoption, all of the staff in the room put their hands on Annie and just start praying over her.

ANNIE HYSONG: And to have all these women, who are daily seeing people come in who are in crisis and in need help and save babies, are praying over me, who is starting to work through these pains of, “I was not wanted. I was given away. I was rejected.” 

RACHEL SZABO: The staff say, “You should go see the counselor on staff at A Woman’s Choice.” So Annie starts going to see the counselor on a regular basis. 

ANNIE HYSONG: I was able to talk to this man on the other side of things, who is seeing women every day who have chosen life, who have not chosen life, who have given their babies up for adoption. And I was on the other end of that. I was the baby. The fact that I got to work through all this in a crisis pregnancy center, I can’t even believe it’s true! It’s crazy to me. I firmly believe it was the best place for me to be. They helped me project compassion on my birth mom. She was alone and still chose a good thing. 

RACHEL SZABO: And eventually she arrived at this place where she is just so thankful.

ANNIE HYSONG: That is one of the most selfless things I will ever see a human do, is say, ‘I can’t take care of this person, but I’m going to hand them over to somebody who can and have all those rights stripped away from me.’ It just breaks my heart to think about it, how difficult that is. So I’m thankful. Yeah. I just want her to know that, that I’m not angry, I’m not upset about it because it was such a beautiful, beautiful gift that she gave me. 

RACHEL SZABO: And for Annie, being pro-life means having the same kind of selflessness as her birth mom.

ANNIE HYSONG: Are you doing life with these women? Are you offering to take their saved babies? Are you offering to put a plan in place for them? You don’t know them. “You’re going to hell” and “You’re a terrible person” and “You’re a murderer,” like, that’s not showing compassion. The struggles, you don’t know who people are unless you really get to know them. And if you’re not willing to do that, then you have to put your signs down. 

JESSE EUBANKS: One of the ways that A Woman’s Choice seeks to show compassion is through a variety of different services. They offer things like life skills classes, GED courses, Bible studies. They do free childcare and relationship coaching. But in the midst of all these things, one of the ones that is most special and most important is actually something that both Kinshasta and Brad went through themselves, and that’s a post-abortive class. This class is for women and men who have been involved in abortion, to help them process and grieve the loss and the pain that often times is hidden. And one of the things they do in this class is have a memorial service, and they ask the parent to name the child that was aborted and then to write notes and prayers to that child. 

JESSE EUBANKS: Okay, talk to us about what we’re looking at here.

MONICA HENDERSON: Yeah. On the hallway of our medical clinic we have the memorial to the unborn. When the mom has given us permission, we will publish their prayers on this wall. 

JESSE EUBANKS: These are so moving. This one says, “I miss you in my arms. I think of you every time I see a child. I’m sorry I made the decision to end your life. Love, Mommy.” 

“Samantha, we’re sorry for denying you a chance at life. To play with Legos. To fight with your brothers or skin your knee.  Your first smile, first tooth, first steps. For denying you a chance to grow, live and learn. We’re sorry we’ll have to wait so long to hold you in heaven. Love, Mom and Dad.”

“Marcus John, if only you were here today, you would almost be thirteen.” God, these are hard to read. “I’d be driving you to basketball and then maybe out to eat. I would help you with homework, and we’d watch a little tv before I tucked you into bed and prayed you had sweet dreams. I lost you for a lifetime but will be with you in eternity. Love, Mommy.”

JESSE EUBANKS: At the conclusion of the post-abortive class, both Brad and Kinshasta named their children. Brad named his two kids Hector and Aura. Kinshasta named her child Blessing. So, we’d like to dedicate this episode to Hector, Aura and Blessing. 

JESSE EUBANKS: In the gospel of Luke, when the lawyer asked Jesus for the rules within the rule, Jesus answered by telling him the story of the Good Samaritan. In that story, the priest and the Levite walk past the man on the road, and in doing so, they keep their lawful obligations. It was against their law to touch an unclean body. But the samaritan isn’t guided by rules or laws. He’s guided by compassion for the one in need. 

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JESSE EUBANKS: If you would like to learn more about A Woman’s Choice, you can visit their website at bsideuforlife.org. To get more resources on this topic or to listen to past episodes of this podcast, you can visit our website at lovethyneighborhood.org/podcast. 

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JESSE EUBAKNKS: Special thank you to our interviewees for this episode — Monica Henderson, Kinshasta Reed, Brad Brown and Annie Hysong. 

RACHEL SZABO: Our senior producer and host is Jesse Eubanks.

JESSE EUBANKS: Our co-host today is Rachel Szabo, who is also our producer, technical director, and editor.

RACHEL SZABO: Additional editing by Anna Tran. 

JESSE EUBANKS: Additional audio footage comes from Nadus Films. Music for today’s episode comes from Lee Rosevere, Podington Bear, Scott Holmes, and Wooden Axle.

RACHEL SZABO: Apply for your social justice internship supported by Christian community by visiting lovethyneighborhood.org. Serve for a summer or a year. Grow in your faith and life skills.

JESSE EUBANKS: Which of these was a neighbor to the man in need? The one who showed mercy. Jesus tells us, ‘Go, and do likewise.’